That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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