She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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