Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
