some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
