I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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