Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
