SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
