Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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