Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize