We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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