i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
