I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
