I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
