I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
