We should be called the Road Head Warriors
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
