Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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