woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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