I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
