Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
