i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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