I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
