Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
