If that was your dad, he is hot
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
