And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Pooping to opera.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
