I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
