I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
