Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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