im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
