I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize