Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
