A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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