She is in my trunk
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
After tacos, we're chasing women.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
