You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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