I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
