He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
