just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
