She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
