lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
