Non-Jews are for practice
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
