I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
