The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
