I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
