why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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