Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
