No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
