There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
