Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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