they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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