You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
