i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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