found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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