Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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