your room smells of hookers.
And success
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize