Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
