This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize