I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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