Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
