break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
