I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
