White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
